Dating straight talk

What we constantly hear, instead, is "You're young - sow your oats, enjoy yourself, have a good time, don't get tied down, don't get serious with any girls." And by the time we finish setting ourselves up financially and convince ourselves we're ready to settle down, we've fumbled through countless "relationships," leaving women by the wayside, some of them shattered and bitter because we thought it more important to add a notch to our player belts than to act honorably.We've gone for that gold star some men award each other when they have more than one woman at a time. We get pats on the back - told over and over again that this is what we're supposed to do if we're real men.I was frustrated, our financial outlook was in shambles, and we were always at it - always fighting about something. Sure, she'd married a member of the male species and I had some good traits.I was kind and trusting; I was a very good protector; and I made no qualms about professing to anybody coming and going that she was mine and I was hers. I wish my father would have warned me, would have sat me down and schooled me on the particulars of marriage.In the weeks leading up to my marriage, I didn't have a steady paycheck to support my soon to be wife. I'd even said as much to my mother; I told her I was going to call off the wedding because I wasn't working and it didn't feel right. By then, we were able to put our finger on what was missing - what was dooming my first marriage even before the spit on the stamps we put on those invitations was dry: I didn't know who I was, what I would do with my life, and how much I was going to make doing it.

She is also author of Franco American Dreams, which is currently being made into a feature film. E-mail any questions about guys directly to Julie at Guys [email protected] TAYLOR writes about teen relationships for magazines such as Cosmo Girl, Jump, Teen, and YM.She is also author of Franco American Dreams, which is currently being made into a feature film. E-mail any questions about guys directly to Julie at Guys [email protected] boys are truly from another universe, then girls need all the help they can get in understanding this seemingly alien species.Teen magazine writer and self-proclaimed "older sister" Taylor has written a concise, frank, and accessible book that addresses the issues surrounding teenage relationships without the condescending, distant language of a self-help text.These are the three things every man has to achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilling his destiny as a man and if any one of those things is missing, he will be much too busy trying to find it to focus on you.He won't have it in him to settle down, have children, or build a life with anyone.

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